Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Markus Ng, our truly devoted Anak Bangsa Malaysia

,

I can't remember exact date when I first met Markus Ng. But I do remember met Markus Ng when I had the first time long chat with him at the Lotus restaurant opposite PJ civil hall right after we have dispersed after been chased out. It must be a week after Nov 9, 2008 and I managed to shared with him and other PJ vigilers about world secret "Our delusive matrix world system". He passes away on 4th Feb 2009 (born on 6th may 1985 - year of Wood Ox) given us a SHOCKed. I got the terrible news from Nat Blogsite and I thought it was a joke! I do have Markus handphone number and at that instant I called him. When his brother David picked up the phone called with a broke down voices, I knew it, this is no more a joke, I wish it was a joke as I must been caught in the state of denied a bit. My mind went blank and trying to recall the last day I spend with him. I was sat in his car on the way to visit Ahmadiyya center. He got my personal card but he has not given me his. Finally he took out his card and gave it to me. He was driving a perdana. He told me the car is belong to his parents. I was again caught in surprised with a great devoted to our country with title "anak bangsa malaysia". How on earth he did it so devoted and successfully implemented within himself. I was praising him and told him, I will have my personal card similar to that too. He smiled silently.

After I came to knew that he has passes away, I smsed and email to all my PJ vigil friends whom we meet every Sunday night the SHOCKing news. Later I also went to google for his blog and found his blog[http://liltots.wordpress.com/] and here is Markus's memorial website [http://markusng.memory-of.com/].

I was very touch with his song titled Goodbye. Later I came to know from Michael this song was written many years ago .. here is the songs I love so much ..

Lyrics: Goodbye
by Markus Ng

Sitting silent waiting but the moment never comes
I wait, I wait
I try to get it off my chest
but time again I failed to say, to say


I love you from the very deepest bottom of my heart
If I were to write an essay for you
that's how I will start
before I say "I need you", tell you how I
wanna grow old with you
"I'll be the man you want me to be" too

My thoughts are filled with memories from the moment we first met
happy, and sad
I'll miss those times we spent together,
even empty talk and laughter
If only we could be together

But God seems to have another plan
something I don't understand
The countdown has began
If there is no tomorrow for me
I'll never get a chance to tell this story
how I loved you so
how I'd always wanted you to know

I love you from the very deepest bottom of my heart
If I were to write an essay for you
that's how I will start
before I say "I need you", tell you how I
wanna grow old with you
"I'll be the man you want me to be" too

Source: http://markusng.memory-of.com/legacy.aspx


From the lyrics, it seemed that Markus knew God had plan for him and I am strongly believe he must have been raises his soul to heaven in the kingdom of GOD. Each time I see Markus's photos, I have heartfelt joy came from him and brings smile to my heart. I want to thank Markus very much for his presence on this earth and spending time with us in almost every PJ vigil that I can think of. I love all the songs that Markus composed and sing so far .. so natural and original sincerity shown by word/music and given me a big surprises that Markus Ng, a truly talented young Anak Bangsa Malaysia and it is another wake up call for all of us in Malaysia. Word cant describe our feeling been lost of Markus Ng in PJ vigil (No to ISA). I began to fully deeply believe the word "Sacrifice". I have began to noticed that many talented child on earth always comes with "great sacrifices" and "do some services for other" become important in our lives. Please do some service for other especially to your beloved country.

another song ..funny and laughter ..

Lyrics: Blahblehblue
by Markus Ng

I laze in the park, I gaze in the dark
Got no mood to get up and do work needs to be done
Ooo... scoobydoobeedoo...

I get up from the pillow, I look out of my window
Dusty mosquito nets
That's just so sad, so sad
I think I’m slowly going mad
Well don’t you?

Well I tried everything
Picked up my guitar and sing
Went to volunteer to help out the tsunami victims
Tried to pick up all those self-help books
Tried improving on my good looks
Took those long and aimless drives
Played football, sweating like a pig
Tried to teach my dogs some tricks
Tried to write a song so I could pick up chicks

[chuckle]
Well, that last thing there is not true. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is I tried everything but I never really found what I was looking for and you know, sometimes in life you search so hard to find some things but in the end, some things find you instead. Let me just say life hasn't really been the same since. And now going back to the song...

Sun is shining higher
My days are looking brighter
Gloom’s no longer over me
'Cause I be- (4x)
'Cause I... be-believe

Sun is shining higher
My days are looking brighter
Gloom’s no longer over me
'Cause I believe

Tried to write a song so I could pick up chicks .. pick up chicks ...LOL
anyway here is the rest of the songs

Lyrics: I Want To Want To
by Markus Ng

God I don't know, I don’t know
I really want to, but it doesn't show
My projections, my convictions
Muddled mess, so much confusion
I don’t know, I don’t know.

What do I say when you've heard it all
Excuses, lies, remorse, more lies
Yet still I dare to mouth them words
I'm sorry for how much it hurts and disappoints

I'm not perfect,
but I’m gonna try
seek the truth and apply
I want to honestly repent
Give you my 100%

I want to want to love You
as You love me too
I want to want to live life
as You'd want me to
I want to want to honour You
More than anything I want to want to

I'not there yet, but I'm trying
Pushing on, oh I'm striving
Wait for me, I'm arriving
So help me God.




Lyrics: Feeling Blue
by Markus Ng

It's late night and it's not alright
but still the stars are so bright
A melody it keeps me awake
as it plays i fall and I break

I wanna close my eyes and cry
kiss the blues goodbye
I wanna run but there's nowhere to run to
But still I go and I look for my pair of shoes

So I run and I run
Without knowing where I'm gone
I'm all weary from this aimless journey
that I've begun

So I stop and I turn
looking for a lesson to learn
there's definitely something I missed
life should be more than this

It's just as if I'm afraid I'm losing
losing all my pride
But it seems there's more than pride I'm missing
my grip on life is loosening

I really wish I still was a child
back then I could truly smile
No worries about expectations
Such liberty I did not need to run

but still I ran and I ran
without knowing where I'd land
Was all weary from that aimless journey
that I began

So I stopped and I turned
I see the lesson to be learned
there was definitely something I missed
life was more than this




Lyrics: Strife
by Markus Ng

Sometimes you have to be broken
to know what it means to be full
sometimes you gotta fall
to know what it means to stand up tall

so when you're ever there
when life seems unfair
when you've hit the floor
remember, the only way to go is up
so grit your teeth
clench your fists
one thing for sure
you're gonna come out stronger

fix your eyes on the hill
for wisdom, strength and will




Lyrics: The Coward's Run
by Markus Ng

Oh how it envelopes me
Makes me shift uncomfortably
Emptiness; it shivers through my bones
So, so, cold

I'll do all I can to distract myself
Honest thoughts I shelve
Deny the self pity
I won't let it get to me

Like the coward, I run
Heart weighs me down like a ton
Tires me so
So tired of waiting, tired of trusting
Take the quick fix

Like the coward, I run
Heart weighs me down like a ton
Wasn't long before I stopped
To my knees I dropped

I do wanna leave
I wanna believe
I wanna live




Lyrics: Goodbye
by Markus Ng

Sitting silent waiting but the moment never comes
I wait, I wait
I try to get it off my chest
but time again I failed to say, to say

I love you from the very deepest bottom of my heart
If I were to write an essay for you
that's how I will start
before I say "I need you", tell you how I
wanna grow old with you
"I'll be the man you want me to be" too

My thoughts are filled with memories from the moment we first met
happy, and sad
I'll miss those times we spent together,
even empty talk and laughter
If only we could be together

But God seems to have another plan
something I don't understand
The countdown has began
If there is no tomorrow for me
I'll never get a chance to tell this story
how I loved you so
how I'd always wanted you to know

I love you from the very deepest bottom of my heart
If I were to write an essay for you
that's how I will start
before I say "I need you", tell you how I
wanna grow old with you
"I'll be the man you want me to be" too




Lyrics: Blahblehblue
by Markus Ng

I laze in the park, I gaze in the dark
Got no mood to get up and do work needs to be done
Ooo... scoobydoobeedoo...

I get up from the pillow, I look out of my window
Dusty mosquito nets
That's just so sad, so sad
I think I’m slowly going mad
Well don’t you?

Well I tried everything
Picked up my guitar and sing
Went to volunteer to help out the tsunami victims
Tried to pick up all those self-help books
Tried improving on my good looks
Took those long and aimless drives
Played football, sweating like a pig
Tried to teach my dogs some tricks
Tried to write a song so I could pick up chicks

[chuckle]
Well, that last thing there is not true. Anyway what I'm trying to get at is I tried everything but I never really found what I was looking for and you know, sometimes in life you search so hard to find some things but in the end, some things find you instead. Let me just say life hasn't really been the same since. And now going back to the song...

Sun is shining higher
My days are looking brighter
Gloom’s no longer over me
'Cause I be- (4x)
'Cause I... be-believe

Sun is shining higher
My days are looking brighter
Gloom’s no longer over me
'Cause I believe




Here Today - Ali McB feat. Nicholas Pang on guitar
If in time I had to go
I'd want you to know
If you'd lived another day
There's so much I'd yet to say

Here today, gone tomorrow
But you lived a thousand lives
and more just touching heartaches
Here today, gone tomorrow
But the faces that you lighted
know the smiles will never fade
Never knew how well you sang
Never knew you at all
But the night you let me stay
You touched my life in your own way


Here is the memorable touching words from his dear brother David Ng ...

h1

Dearest Markus

February 8, 2009

Dearest Markus,

Words just cant express how I feel right now. It’s been 3 days since you’ve gone and a part of me is still in denial. I ask God “why did you have to go so early?” You had so much more to offer.


Papa, mama, Peter and I went through a period of great grief. A sorrow so deep that there was a point where I felt completely shattered and did not know where to start picking up the broken pieces from.



We miss you so dearly.. I think that papa feels that there was so much he wanted to tell you, so much wisdom & knowledge that he wants to impart to you, but did not have the opportunity to do so. I cannot imagine his shock the morning he found you on your bed. Mama misses you, how you never fail to ask her “how was your day?” when she fetches you back from work each evening. Peter is grief-stricken too, he was the last one you emailed just hours before your death.


I will miss all the good times we had together. It’s been my pleasure being a brother to you for the past 23 years. I’ve seen you grown up into a man after God’s heart, growing in wisdom and stature and touching many lives as you go along the way.



I remember the times when we were young. Playing together as brothers, having simple fun with one another. I remember the time while we were still in Mentakab, we used to play and pretend as if were travelling in a plane, visiting places all over the world. We would take papa& mama’s travel suitcases, arrange them on the floor as if we were sitting in a plane. I’d become the captain, you and Peter were the passengers. We took out the big atlas book and you’d would point to where you want to go, and I ‘flew’ both of you there.



I remember when you first started playing football. I used to teach you tricks and dribbled around you while you were younger. Over the years, you grew more skillful and became a better player than what I am today.



I remember how you first picked up guitar and I taught you a thing or two. Over the years, you grew better, began composing your own songs and became a tutor to many others. Have i told you that your songs sound good? You must have heard that many times already. I love the way you write your lyrics, how you beautifully & truthfully express yourself on your struggles. I am at awe at how you manage to write your lyrics and yet add a nice jazzy tune to it. I remember two weeks ago when you played the guitar for me and sang two songs that you were still halfway through in composing. I guess now, we’ll never be able to hear those songs again.




Over the years, you have grown so much in the Lord. We used to attend different churches ever since we came to PJ. I was comfortable in GA with my friends, but the family moved on to SSGC. I myself am not sure why I did not follow the family, but looking back, I think it gave us time & space to grow and flourish in our own special ways. I had the opportunity to serve and lead in my youth and music team, and you were able to develop and stand up on yourself, not always under the shadows of your elder brother.



We had a memorable wake service. Many of your friends, relatives and even people whom did not know you came. They were all saddened at your lost. We were so blessed to see the crowd, it moved us to tears to see all the people you knew coming to mourn at the service. Some stood up and testified on the footprints you left in their lives.


We really thank God for all the people who came to show their support-
your childhood friends, the people from TGC, your secondary school friends, collegemates, unimates, churchmates, football kakis, the people from ibridge, the PJ vigil, Unicef, the Headstart group and so many more which I cannot even recall.
Their presence, support and testimonies gave us so much encouragement. It really helped us during this time of despair.


We are so proud of you. We are proud to know that your death is not in vain. We are proud to know that you have made a difference in many lives that you came in contact with during your short time here. You were a friendly person, full of humility and also had a vision for a better Malaysia. I could see your love for the country, to see our country united under one banner, under one race called bangsa Malaysia. I hope this dream comes true and I too dare hope for a better future. You know, we sang ‘Negaraku’ at your memorial service. It was so unconventional, but yet I know if you were there, that was what you would have wanted.



We put a few of your favourite things into your coffin. There was your bible in there, your ‘Anak Bangsa Malaysia’ name cards, your favourite shirt, your football and boots. Hey, your comrade(Peter) at PJ vigil has also left behind the Anak Bangsa Malaysia cap which you wanted very much. Then there were also letters from your Essex unifriends / course mates.



Found 3 guitar picks in your wallet. Peter took one and exchanged it with another of his pick. I took the orange one and replaced it with my orange pick (its still brand new). Keep it for me yah.. I’ll collect it back from you when I meet you in heaven. Till then, keep playing songs for God!



Sigh.. It feels like you have left for a long trip and we are saying goodbye to you. The difference is that you have already made it to the end of your journey and will never come back here.


You have fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith. Cheer us on as we complete our own race. I remember the lyrics of your song ‘feeling blue’.. You ran and you ran, without knowing where you’d land.. All weary, from that aimless journey, that you began.. Now, it is time for you to rest. No more running, now safe in the arms of our Lord Jesus.

Your departure doesn’t change the fact that God is good. He cares, He loves us, and He is faithful. Dear Lord, grant us the comfort, grace and strength in time of our greatest sorrow. Heal those wounds, help us to pick up all the broken pieces. Make us whole again, renew our joy. Thank you so much for Markus!

I’ll miss you my brother, my football partner, music buddy. Our family misses you dearly. We rest assured knowing that one day, we will all be united again.



Forever.

Lots of love,

David

7 February 2009

16 comments

  1. Not believing this. Can’t believe you’re gone..

    Rest in peace, dear Markus.


  2. What a heartTouching memory which still vigil in our mind and heart! Thanks David for the heart felt sharing with beautiful memorable photographs ..


  3. Thanks David, for sharing an insight into your family’s life. I had the pleasure of meeting Markus at a couple of the Anti-ISA Vigils, MBPJ. In a nutshell, I pray my son Joshua will emulate him.

    You can find Markus’ photos taken at the 16th Anti-ISA Vigil http://picasaweb.google.com/pahlawan.volunteers/090125AntiISAVigil#

    Could you be so kind so email me the templates of Markus’ callcards so that we can host it for people to download and print their own?

    Much love and God bless

    Pat Lu (012) 210 4898
    Pahlawan Volunteers


  4. Markus, you’re greatly missed.


  5. I am touched by Markus’s life. He was like a candle, burning oneself to light up the lives of others. Now he will rest in the Lord.


  6. I read this post with tears flowing over me.

    David I hope that God will grant you, your brother and your parents strength to go through this difficult period.

    Till we meet again Markus.


  7. Thanks for sharing on this. It is a pity that Markus left the world at such a young age. It is a loss for everyone - country, community, family, friends etc.


  8. Thank you so much for sharing and including us in your journey of grief, which is full of the grace of God throughout.


  9. I do not know you Markus. Only know and read about you from “Zorro unmasked” blog. Thanks Zorro for highlighting Markus to us a “Anak Bangsa Malaysia”.

    My heart aches to see such a young and a fighter for justice has to leave to be with the Lord. As some would say, the world loves you but our Lord loves you more.


  10. David n Peter,
    I am Peter a fellow Anak Bangsa Malaysia, the one that left the cap and suggested the National Anthem.
    Yes, Markus would have indeed been most appreciative of it.
    Sorry never had the chance to actually speak to you guys at the wake, I hope we will be able to catch up soon. I do hope to have the honoour of knowing the both of you, continuing on with Markus.
    Please be in contact.


  11. Keep on talking to him even though he’s not around cos it’s a good therapy for managing grief. It helps to reduce the pains of a devastated heart!

    Be strong to accept that God loves him more and has better plans for him - plans which we don’t understand at all at the moment!

    Markus, you are much admired and adored by loved ones!


  12. David, I never knew your brother that well, but enough to know what a wonderful person he was. its hard to believe he has gone so fast. I am so touched by what you wrote, really he has had a fulfilled life and has touched so many ppl’s lives, even those who never knew him personally.

    really. i am so sorry for what happened.. thank you for sharing this. it is good knowing that you will all be reunited in Heaven together someday and the separation is only temporary..


  13. Dear David and Peter,

    I mourn your loss although I’ve never known Markus. Its always sad and heart wrenching to know that a young life who has so much more to offer has left us. However, it is also always comforting to know that Markus is in the arms of God, waiting for all us to get acquainted and reacquainted with him when it is our turn to be in the arms of our Heavenly Father.


  14. it was an honour knowing u, markus.


  15. My condolences to your loss even though I’ve never heard of Markus before. And I’m just relieved to hear that you’ll continue his quest from where he left off.

    Keep it up! Markus will always be in our hearts always!


  16. No amount of my tears can bring Markus(my nephew)back to life but this is my natural response to the person I love-a reciprocation to the love given by his parents to me.Time can tell if a person has been sincere and genuine towards you-both parents of Markus have been always consistent at being helpful,thoughtful,kind and loving in words and in deeds-the same manifestation in Markus!Markus’s achievements surpassed most people and he has left behind him a legacy so he has not died in vain because his legacy still lives.I was fortunate to be able to attend the memorial services and funeral-I have learnt an invaluable lesson from these occasions.My brother Vincent asked me what I have learnt?At the age of 53,my life is still in a mess and I have not done any preparation for death.The Bible as I remember has 66 books(I don’t have the Bible beside me)but I can only remember 2 verses;John3:16 and Galation 5:22.When Markus mentioned “My hope is in dying to live.Death I fear you not.In God I trust.”He has already prepared for any eventualities!I always have apprehension about Markus’s perception of things.I once told him,”Forget about shaping the country’s destiny”-”you cannot do it” and I gave him the reason I know.However,I now see things in a different perspective.God can work miracles through His chosen ones-such fervent enthusiasm demonstrated by Markus is no ordinary feat;it must be God’s calling-his convictions and beliefs can move mountains!


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